Communication In The Workplace

In today's culture we battle a series of communication issues:

Technology 

Co-Worker

Work Process

Department Level

Personal Life

And all conflict that comes with each category.

As our workplace becomes more digital with working from home, Teams, Zoom, and email we are dependant on our calendars more than ever. We schedule our digital meetings and don't leave too much room for too much else. I like to think there are pros and cons to this new system. 

Pro: You prep before each meeting and speak directly about the account, client, or issue

Con: What happens when a client needs something on the fly and you can't get to it because your day is scheduled out with Zoom meetings.

The working from home mentality takes out the inhouse drama of competitive and gossip complications. The pettiness of insecurity. But it also takes away the humor and connection and more importantly the teamwork. There is nothing like sitting with a good team and brainstorming great ideas.

There are the social distance barriers of multiple people working on the same project and not knowing where you may be in the process. This leads to frustration and clients falling through the cracks. There is nothing more disappointing than realizing something was avoidable and yet the ball was dropped.

There are new and veteran executives trying to figure out new and effective ways to control management elements. Which means learning a new process or a new system. Trial and error. Grace for mistakes. And the opportunity to hear new and innovative ideas. Growing pains and of course opposition. 

People leave or grow. New training hours are put in and lost. Clients live with good and bad experiences and no one can control a person's personality. 

Then of course you are dealing with the odds and ends of being a mom, wife, father, husband, child to aging parents, sister, friend, church member, philanthropist and you need me time.

There is just so much space for hurt feelings and miss understandings. 

How do you handle your coworkers, kids, spouse, boss, friends, loved ones and have time to hear the sound of your own voice?

How do you survive the oppression that you can't handle it all?

It starts with expectation.

You have to lower your expectations of others and acknowledge you won't always get it right either.

However, you should push others to reach new goals.

I bet that sounds contradictory.

It's not.

You can help others stay focused and expect more for themselves without removing the grace from knowing they won't learn to curve their habits all in one day.

The other way is space.

Know when to give space.

So many times we push into drama. To solve it. Control it. Or Kill it. Don't

There is nothing defeating in knowing not everyone is going to love or like you. Leave them to their lane and focus on yours. It is more exhausting to placate emotions in someone who isn't satisfied with themselves, therefore, is projecting at you. Make new goals for yourself and lean into that, away from the opposition.

Know when to stand your ground on things that matter. If someone said your shoes are old leave it alone. If someone is trying to sabotage your work you get your ass to your manager and shut that down. The longer you allow people to actively attack you the more they will try and it will be your fault for not saying something sooner.

Know how to place boundaries around even those you love because they need you most. They can be draining and as you drain your resentment will build. This will leave you negative in every space you walk into. Whether it is work, school, home, or volunteer space.

Always, always, always learn to keep self-control. There is no faster way to lose your team, your friendships, or control of a situation if you blow first. If you need to step away, shut down a minute, or stick your earphones in do that first.

So here is my rule of thumb in any communication battles or frustrations:

1. Take a minute to gain self-control

2. Make your request short, direct, and clear. Refrain from vague or broad accusations.

3. Have a solution. Never complain to your boss, spouse, or client about a problem without having a proposed solution.

4. Be open to better ideas

5. If a conflict can't be settled on mutually respectful terms know when to let go and remove yourself from the line of fire. Not everyone can be won over and people who play victim are the worst kind of company.

6. Never go on defenses. Always stay on offense

7. Always leave a conversation with respect for yourself first (knowing you didn't say anything below the belt) and respect for the other person (knowing not all people live the same way and will see life in the same way.)

As a new rule, I have added. If you are communicating via technology and you can feel frustration rising on either side immediately stop and request to speak in person. This immediately disengages the conflict and tember in your voice and presence make all the difference.

-Izzy Gentry

clvplanners.com